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mask or menace | ic inbox.
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Thank you. For that.
[ His was a small apology, but it was likely the best he could give, for now. Anathema's fingers are curled at the high neck of her dress; if she had a necklace there, she'd be clutching it, but instead she just settles for the line of her own collarbone. Thinking.
And despite himself, Gabriel managed to land on saying exactly the right thing, for her at least. ]
They really have made a massive mess of things. The oceans, the rainforest, the heaps of floating trash, the extinctions, the dead coral reefs, the ozone layer, the pipelines, the constant fires. You gave us this planet, and we fucked it all up. I'm— god, you don't know how much that sort of thing infuriated me. The Devices, we were always about the very, very, very long game, we thought of things in centuries, and yet so many other people don't seem to be able to have that perspective. They're too short-sighted.
But you're right. In that you need to give people the chance to try, at least. To clean up their own messes. If you just scrap the whole experiment and start from scratch, how does anyone learn anything? How does anyone get better?
[ His was a small apology, but it was likely the best he could give, for now. Anathema's fingers are curled at the high neck of her dress; if she had a necklace there, she'd be clutching it, but instead she just settles for the line of her own collarbone. Thinking.
And despite himself, Gabriel managed to land on saying exactly the right thing, for her at least. ]
They really have made a massive mess of things. The oceans, the rainforest, the heaps of floating trash, the extinctions, the dead coral reefs, the ozone layer, the pipelines, the constant fires. You gave us this planet, and we fucked it all up. I'm— god, you don't know how much that sort of thing infuriated me. The Devices, we were always about the very, very, very long game, we thought of things in centuries, and yet so many other people don't seem to be able to have that perspective. They're too short-sighted.
But you're right. In that you need to give people the chance to try, at least. To clean up their own messes. If you just scrap the whole experiment and start from scratch, how does anyone learn anything? How does anyone get better?
Tuxedo cats. Like they're wearing little tuxedos.
[ Where Sal roams around the kitchen and then stays on her feet, Anathema's like a still and quiet pool at the center of the kitchen. Normally she can be such a dervish of multi-tasking activity herself; today's an exception. At the other woman's question, though, she doesn't hide her laugh. ]
It's not chloroform. Er, which is a kind of knock-out chemical. It takes maybe about ten, fifteen minutes? But that's still quick enough— you should have a lie down on my bed upstairs, you know. Take a nap, rest up. I need to take a shower anyhow.
[ Then, a moment later, realising how that might have sounded, she clears her throat. ]
There's plenty of room for two to nap. You wouldn't be putting me out any. And I'd feel better knowing you're letting that cut heal up.
[ Where Sal roams around the kitchen and then stays on her feet, Anathema's like a still and quiet pool at the center of the kitchen. Normally she can be such a dervish of multi-tasking activity herself; today's an exception. At the other woman's question, though, she doesn't hide her laugh. ]
It's not chloroform. Er, which is a kind of knock-out chemical. It takes maybe about ten, fifteen minutes? But that's still quick enough— you should have a lie down on my bed upstairs, you know. Take a nap, rest up. I need to take a shower anyhow.
[ Then, a moment later, realising how that might have sounded, she clears her throat. ]
There's plenty of room for two to nap. You wouldn't be putting me out any. And I'd feel better knowing you're letting that cut heal up.
[Honestly, if it was anyone else making this suggestion, well—Sal wouldn't even have stuck around long enough for them to ask it. She's really got to take a long, deliberate drink from the mug to keep herself from laughing, however. For the sake of everyone in the room, she's able to rein in her own awfulness.
It gives her time to think too. She could just fly up and nap on a rooftop, probably. She doesn't need to stay here at all of she doesn't want to.
Even so...]
Do you have a shirt I can borrow?
[It sounds like a yes, with the way she puts the empty cup back down gently on the table. Sal's not looking her in the eye anymore, but she's not leaving either. She wouldn't be able to tell anyone for who's sake she thinks she's doing this for, so she just lets it be instead.]
I don't want to make a mess.
[She makes a gesture to the scratched up holes. For Sal, it's the most sensitive she knows how to be, trying in her own way to distract from other awkwardness.]
It gives her time to think too. She could just fly up and nap on a rooftop, probably. She doesn't need to stay here at all of she doesn't want to.
Even so...]
Do you have a shirt I can borrow?
[It sounds like a yes, with the way she puts the empty cup back down gently on the table. Sal's not looking her in the eye anymore, but she's not leaving either. She wouldn't be able to tell anyone for who's sake she thinks she's doing this for, so she just lets it be instead.]
I don't want to make a mess.
[She makes a gesture to the scratched up holes. For Sal, it's the most sensitive she knows how to be, trying in her own way to distract from other awkwardness.]
I do. I don't always dress like this, believe it or not. [ A vague wave to her own now-grubby and dusty dress, heavy with sand and grit. With a thoughtful click of her tongue: ] Ugh. I should do a load of laundry anyway. I can get you a shirt and we can toss all of our stuff in the wash at once.
[ Starting to sound a little more brisk now, again, as she starts organising the world back into its to-do lists, items to tackle, next steps. Despite the fact that she only just sat down, Anathema's back on her feet again, carrying her mug and starting to head upstairs. ]
Thanks for— picking me up. It'd have taken me ages to get home by myself.
[ Starting to sound a little more brisk now, again, as she starts organising the world back into its to-do lists, items to tackle, next steps. Despite the fact that she only just sat down, Anathema's back on her feet again, carrying her mug and starting to head upstairs. ]
Thanks for— picking me up. It'd have taken me ages to get home by myself.
[Seems like a strange thing to thank her for, in Sal's opinion.]
I wanted to do it. And besides, automobiles are mostly shit. Nothing wrong with a good, reliable bird to take you where you need to go.
[Following along up the stairs, listening to Anathema start to create a chore list, Sal feels more certain about her decision to stay. She's at least strong enough to carry her if the other woman pushes too hard and manages to doze off on her feet.]
You want...help or something? I can do it while you're in the shower, at least.
[Sal has exactly zero experience in domestic chore sharing habits but what the fuck, laundry isn't difficult to figure out.]
I wanted to do it. And besides, automobiles are mostly shit. Nothing wrong with a good, reliable bird to take you where you need to go.
[Following along up the stairs, listening to Anathema start to create a chore list, Sal feels more certain about her decision to stay. She's at least strong enough to carry her if the other woman pushes too hard and manages to doze off on her feet.]
You want...help or something? I can do it while you're in the shower, at least.
[Sal has exactly zero experience in domestic chore sharing habits but what the fuck, laundry isn't difficult to figure out.]
[We've always thought of things in centuries is so accurate, so precise, that he looks impressed. He puts his hand on his hips and tilts his head to look at her. There is a flash - a flash of judgement. The archangels do not judge however, that's her but it drops and then he looks interested.
And then tired, but. Less tired then he did.]
...You are the most aware human being I have ever encountered. You and your family. I am...very glad to know you.
[If a being can still look like a man, but also look like an animal, that is Gabriel next however.]
...It's interesting. I'd never conceived that a human being could...respond like a celestial creature would. We think in terms of centuries, of millennia. Just because a planet ends doesn't mean the universe does. The stars in the sky we laid are vast.
[He seems on the verge of saying something else then but it leaves him feeling twisted because it means - in his mind - why would you want to stay. The notion of human beings spreading to Alpha Centauri for instance, or to any of the other planets...
The notion that might be okay dances across his mind but the planet they made with her blessing and her will...well. They'd miss it.
He looks like a man again.]
...Let's go find some place to clean up. I could tell you something about heaven while we rest. We have a window that shows all of the things that mankind has ever created.
And then tired, but. Less tired then he did.]
...You are the most aware human being I have ever encountered. You and your family. I am...very glad to know you.
[If a being can still look like a man, but also look like an animal, that is Gabriel next however.]
...It's interesting. I'd never conceived that a human being could...respond like a celestial creature would. We think in terms of centuries, of millennia. Just because a planet ends doesn't mean the universe does. The stars in the sky we laid are vast.
[He seems on the verge of saying something else then but it leaves him feeling twisted because it means - in his mind - why would you want to stay. The notion of human beings spreading to Alpha Centauri for instance, or to any of the other planets...
The notion that might be okay dances across his mind but the planet they made with her blessing and her will...well. They'd miss it.
He looks like a man again.]
...Let's go find some place to clean up. I could tell you something about heaven while we rest. We have a window that shows all of the things that mankind has ever created.
Come on, you're the guest here. [ She's led the way to her bedroom, setting her mug on her dresser and pulling out the bag of laundry, then rummaging for a spare oversized shirt, which she tosses to Sal. The bedroom's a once-generic space that's been made more personal: a knitted throw blanket slung onto the bed, a stack of books piled on the desk beside a laptop, a phrenology skull on the mantle, a scattering of eclectic thrift shop finds. Anathema cares very much about making her surroundings nice, coordinated, even if it's temporary, like her cottage at Tadfield. Or here. ]
But if you really are set on being useful, then feel free to take a crack at the laundry — the machine's downstairs, next to the kitchen — and then just make yourself comfortable. And I'll be right back.
[ A wave of her hand towards the bed, with its stack of pillows and the throw, and then Anathema scoops up a towel and departs.
It's a mark of trust, just depositing Sal in her home and letting her have free rein of it — there's no end of drawers and books to poke through, a tarot spread sitting abandoned on the desk. But Anathema believes rather firmly in her gauge of other people; she's seen the other woman's aura, after all. And so she trusts her. ]
But if you really are set on being useful, then feel free to take a crack at the laundry — the machine's downstairs, next to the kitchen — and then just make yourself comfortable. And I'll be right back.
[ A wave of her hand towards the bed, with its stack of pillows and the throw, and then Anathema scoops up a towel and departs.
It's a mark of trust, just depositing Sal in her home and letting her have free rein of it — there's no end of drawers and books to poke through, a tarot spread sitting abandoned on the desk. But Anathema believes rather firmly in her gauge of other people; she's seen the other woman's aura, after all. And so she trusts her. ]
Blame, or thank, Agnes for that. We might have been a regular kind of family otherwise, but she gave us that perspective, set our sights on the far future. Had us preparing for it.
But— yes. That sounds like a good plan. Do you get tired? I'm tired, after all, but I do live here in Jeopardy. Come on.
[ And Anathema crooks out an arm, and loops it through Gabriel's elbow like they're just a pair of old-fashioned lady and gent out for a stroll — though she does lean against him a bit, he's sturdy like rock, his body inhumanly solid — and they start walking, and he distracts her with stories of heaven. ]
But— yes. That sounds like a good plan. Do you get tired? I'm tired, after all, but I do live here in Jeopardy. Come on.
[ And Anathema crooks out an arm, and loops it through Gabriel's elbow like they're just a pair of old-fashioned lady and gent out for a stroll — though she does lean against him a bit, he's sturdy like rock, his body inhumanly solid — and they start walking, and he distracts her with stories of heaven. ]
[Sal doesn't say anything as Anathema leaves the room, already reaching dutifully for the bag of laundry. She changes shirts with quick precision and throws hers in with the rest of the bag. The quiet wraps around her as she pads back downstairs, finding what she needs in the laundry room and works on starting the load up.
It's probably the first true peace she's found since the whole storm started.
When she's back in Anathema's bedroom, she does stand for a moment and take a look around. There's that feeling again, as if she shouldn't root around and break anything. The strange sacredness in another's personal living space. There's a candle on the table, so instead of keeping the light on, she waves a hand and a tiny flame begins to burn on the wick instead.
A faint sound of running water from the other room can be heard as she takes time in turning the bed down. Her gun holster is left on the floor, nearby but out of sight. And when she finally settles herself down under the covers, it's as Anathema guessed. There's room enough for two women without it becoming too uncomfortable.
She tries lying on her side, but with the bandages, ends up settling on her back. With one arm up, under her head, it leaves Anathema the lion's share of space. When the magic finally begins to kick in, and the world begins to sink away, a realization dawns on her. With every tiny gesture she's made since the beginning to now, Sal has made the decision to put her trust in this person.
More than that, she's trusting Anathema not to hurt her.]
It's probably the first true peace she's found since the whole storm started.
When she's back in Anathema's bedroom, she does stand for a moment and take a look around. There's that feeling again, as if she shouldn't root around and break anything. The strange sacredness in another's personal living space. There's a candle on the table, so instead of keeping the light on, she waves a hand and a tiny flame begins to burn on the wick instead.
A faint sound of running water from the other room can be heard as she takes time in turning the bed down. Her gun holster is left on the floor, nearby but out of sight. And when she finally settles herself down under the covers, it's as Anathema guessed. There's room enough for two women without it becoming too uncomfortable.
She tries lying on her side, but with the bandages, ends up settling on her back. With one arm up, under her head, it leaves Anathema the lion's share of space. When the magic finally begins to kick in, and the world begins to sink away, a realization dawns on her. With every tiny gesture she's made since the beginning to now, Sal has made the decision to put her trust in this person.
More than that, she's trusting Anathema not to hurt her.]
[One thing was for certain. As Gabriel walked Anathema home. This had left him something to think about.]
So, how are those New Year's resolutions holding up?
Oh no, nice try, but I'm clever enough not to touch that tripwire.
Anyway, what's really important, aside from all that careful planning and list-making shit—as if I could believe for a single, naive second that you've given them up—is a promise to do something nice for yourself.
So, since I'm so fucking thoughtful you know, I wanted to check in and see what the progress is.
[Completely above the board and for no other reason at all, obviously. And if you believe that kind of birdshit, she has a bridge to sell too.]
Anyway, what's really important, aside from all that careful planning and list-making shit—as if I could believe for a single, naive second that you've given them up—is a promise to do something nice for yourself.
So, since I'm so fucking thoughtful you know, I wanted to check in and see what the progress is.
[Completely above the board and for no other reason at all, obviously. And if you believe that kind of birdshit, she has a bridge to sell too.]
Okay, well. You got me. The list, in no particular order:
How's yours?
- Go to the gym 3x weekly. (Various apocalyptic events have taught me that cardio is very important.)
- Practice elemental magic a little bit every day.
- Possibly get a cat.
- Don't murder any of my housemates this year.
- Don't spend every spare dollar of my paycheck on rare books, tempting as it is; remember that I am not as rich as I once was.
- Hope the apocalypse doesn't happen a third time.
- Now I'm just making a list for you instead of taking this exercise all that seriously.
How's yours?
[It takes every single flimsy piece of self-restraint she has not to ask "three??" but fuck it all. Don't ruin everything nice, Sal, for once in your damn life. Save it for later.]
All of my resolutions started a lot fucking earlier than the new year, but thankfully, I haven't fallen off the wagon yet so. Not bad, I guess.
Anyway, I don't take this shit too seriously. If I want something that badly I just go get it.
[Mostly, sometimes. Not everything, however.]
But I can help with some of yours, I think. Is cat-sitting a thing? Cat-borrowing? Can you even lend something that's not really yours, it just shows up screaming for attention?
All of my resolutions started a lot fucking earlier than the new year, but thankfully, I haven't fallen off the wagon yet so. Not bad, I guess.
Anyway, I don't take this shit too seriously. If I want something that badly I just go get it.
[Mostly, sometimes. Not everything, however.]
But I can help with some of yours, I think. Is cat-sitting a thing? Cat-borrowing? Can you even lend something that's not really yours, it just shows up screaming for attention?
[ Immediate perking to attention. ]
Would you like any help looking after your ill-gotten pet? Because I would love to. Cat-sitting is certainly a thing. Keep it fed, water the plants, make sure no one breaks into your apartment if you happen to be away, etc.
Would you like any help looking after your ill-gotten pet? Because I would love to. Cat-sitting is certainly a thing. Keep it fed, water the plants, make sure no one breaks into your apartment if you happen to be away, etc.
Well shit, if we're going to get practical about things. I've been thinking—it might be a good idea to give you a key anyway. I used to have a few places I could go when things really went south back home, for example, and something similar might work out for when the crap hits the fan around here.
Plus, I'm just kind of guessing with half of this cat shit anyway, so someone fucking responsible might want a go at it.
Plus, I'm just kind of guessing with half of this cat shit anyway, so someone fucking responsible might want a go at it.
[ A beat before she starts typing again, a consideration. Wondering if the whole notion of exchanging keys is as potentially loaded in Sal's world as it is in Anathema's. But she used to carry several friends' keys back home, even when she didn't particularly want them — she just projected That Responsible Friend vibes, apparently — so it's also normal enough.
Besides. This one, she wouldn't mind having. ]
That sounds smart, honestly. When crap hits the fan is a more likely bet than if. You can have mine, too, if you need somewhere to go when you're in Jeopardy.
Have you ever had a pet before?
Besides. This one, she wouldn't mind having. ]
That sounds smart, honestly. When crap hits the fan is a more likely bet than if. You can have mine, too, if you need somewhere to go when you're in Jeopardy.
Have you ever had a pet before?
Alright.
[Well, that went...pretty fucking easily, didn't it? So why all of this pent-up energy, all of a sudden?]
Depends on your interpretation of pet, I guess. My bird, Congeniality, isn't what you'd call small or domesticated, and in fact she's grouchier than I am. But that girl's been with me for so long, well, the biggest regret I have is feeling like I'm abandoning her while I'm here.
I know it's not the case but...yeah, I kind of miss her. What about you, huh? More cats?
[Well, that went...pretty fucking easily, didn't it? So why all of this pent-up energy, all of a sudden?]
Depends on your interpretation of pet, I guess. My bird, Congeniality, isn't what you'd call small or domesticated, and in fact she's grouchier than I am. But that girl's been with me for so long, well, the biggest regret I have is feeling like I'm abandoning her while I'm here.
I know it's not the case but...yeah, I kind of miss her. What about you, huh? More cats?
I don't know if it's a consolation at all -- our brains are illogical, a lot of the time -- but people do say that time is essentially frozen back home, while we're here, so it's not like she knows you're gone. It's not an abandonment.
When you say 'not small', how not-small are we talking?
And no, unfortunately. My mom was allergic, so she never kept any; I always just lived vicariously through friends, the ones I met while I was at school. And after I moved out this most recent time, I was pretty busy with-- well, I don't know what to call them apart from 'apocalypse duties'. It wasn't a good time to take in an animal. I wasn't even sure there'd still be a world standing to keep them in, to be honest. Then I came here.
When you say 'not small', how not-small are we talking?
And no, unfortunately. My mom was allergic, so she never kept any; I always just lived vicariously through friends, the ones I met while I was at school. And after I moved out this most recent time, I was pretty busy with-- well, I don't know what to call them apart from 'apocalypse duties'. It wasn't a good time to take in an animal. I wasn't even sure there'd still be a world standing to keep them in, to be honest. Then I came here.
I think I get the jist of it. Distance makes us worry, even if we shouldn't. Will they be safe if I'm not there, well taken care of?
[Careful there, Sal, think too hard and you might have a real epiphany.]
Shit, well, you know how the people here like to ride horses or whatever? Think about it like that, only angry and full of feathers. The nicer ones out of Cathama are far fucking fancier than anything you can get in the Scar, of course, but Congeniality and I have been through everything together. So I'm pretty fucking biased on her account.
[There it is again, that apocalypse shit. Typically she wouldn't try to get too involved, but.]
You know, if I think far enough back, I remember the kind of shit they'd say to us back in the beginning. When they took us away to be trained in our magic—what a fucking honor it was, serving a greater purpose. Sacrificing so much just to keep everyone in the imperium safe, and I imagine most kids in the beginning took that birdshit to heart.
And of course, over the fucking years, you get to dreaming about all the things you'll have when the war is over, when everything is safe and people are satisfied. But that freedom never seemed to manifest, I guess. It's no fucking wonder everything went bad in the end, but.
Well, we're here now. Kind of nice to try and make the best of whatever this weird shit is we've been given, right?
[Careful there, Sal, think too hard and you might have a real epiphany.]
Shit, well, you know how the people here like to ride horses or whatever? Think about it like that, only angry and full of feathers. The nicer ones out of Cathama are far fucking fancier than anything you can get in the Scar, of course, but Congeniality and I have been through everything together. So I'm pretty fucking biased on her account.
[There it is again, that apocalypse shit. Typically she wouldn't try to get too involved, but.]
You know, if I think far enough back, I remember the kind of shit they'd say to us back in the beginning. When they took us away to be trained in our magic—what a fucking honor it was, serving a greater purpose. Sacrificing so much just to keep everyone in the imperium safe, and I imagine most kids in the beginning took that birdshit to heart.
And of course, over the fucking years, you get to dreaming about all the things you'll have when the war is over, when everything is safe and people are satisfied. But that freedom never seemed to manifest, I guess. It's no fucking wonder everything went bad in the end, but.
Well, we're here now. Kind of nice to try and make the best of whatever this weird shit is we've been given, right?
Wait, sorry, first off and most important thing: are you telling me you rode a giant angry bird?
But-- yeah. Yes. Exactly. It's hard to sit down and try to picture an 'after', and I have to admit that the one I pictured didn't look anything like this, but I like to make the best of it. It's not peaceful here, but I think I'd have been bored to tears if nothing ever happened, either. So. We take the weird shit and we make some kind of home out of it, I think.
But-- yeah. Yes. Exactly. It's hard to sit down and try to picture an 'after', and I have to admit that the one I pictured didn't look anything like this, but I like to make the best of it. It's not peaceful here, but I think I'd have been bored to tears if nothing ever happened, either. So. We take the weird shit and we make some kind of home out of it, I think.
You know what? I think you're just jealous of my wonderful girl, Congeniality. In fact, I think this place would be much better off porting in some birds of their own and raising them too.
What do you picture, when you imagine being happy?
What do you picture, when you imagine being happy?
Fuck it, you've called me out entirely. And I agree. The Porter brought in my friend's pet hellhound, so if it can do that for him, it really should bring in your avian steed.
[ She can barely type that with a straight face. She's delighted. ]
And honestly? I don't really know. A cottage in the English countryside, stacks of books, good tea, a pet cat, a nice garden with lots of herbs. But also travelling the world and seeing all sorts of its corners. But also adventure and some mild peril? Somehow all of the above at once. I don't know how to make them all coexist.
[ She can barely type that with a straight face. She's delighted. ]
And honestly? I don't really know. A cottage in the English countryside, stacks of books, good tea, a pet cat, a nice garden with lots of herbs. But also travelling the world and seeing all sorts of its corners. But also adventure and some mild peril? Somehow all of the above at once. I don't know how to make them all coexist.
[It's comforting to lie to herself and pretend that every soft part of her has died, some by her own hand and some by a sword in her side and that quiet apology echoing in the darkness. Unfortunately, none of that is ever true, and whatever tender emotion that slips past her guard seems inevitably chased by a certain sadness too.]
Freedom. It's the freedom to live every day however you want to.
I remember thinking almost the same sort of thing. A long time ago. But I think they're all beautiful dreams too, and I don't fucking know why any of it should be impossible.
Freedom. It's the freedom to live every day however you want to.
I remember thinking almost the same sort of thing. A long time ago. But I think they're all beautiful dreams too, and I don't fucking know why any of it should be impossible.
Edited 2020-01-20 12:11 (UTC)
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