[If his aura weren't terrifying, it would probably look the same as a confused animal who has been offered food. He is an ancient being and this new experience has thrown him off.
Here he sleeps and breathes and he feels tied down but maybe this is not so bad because he wants more of those things.
It is a sin. It has to be because he is proud and he accepted that but this, this friendship he is becoming greedy for it but it doesn't matter he wants more and when he asks for understanding she says nothing. Only faint whispers.
A thought, a fleeting thought, the barest whisper of a thought runs across his mind that he can't articulate. If he could chase it, find it, read it, it would be I get it.
The what however remained a mystery for the moment]
...Why?
[He frowns. There are humans who are sad here and they have been and said so many things and...]
I don't know. What can any of us do! [ a vaguely-gesturing flap of a hand. She doesn't even really know what she's trying to say anymore; her mind's too blurred, she's too tired. She wants a cup of tea. ] You're just. You're more sympathetic than I thought you would be? Which is a good thing. You don't understand this sort of stuff, but you're trying. You have so little frame of reference but you're trying. I think.
[He swallows.] For everyone to go home. But then I was in there and people saw me and I saw them fighting and it was...
[He sounds stunned, staring around at them.]
...I saw how you and Adam and the rest of you fought, and how Crowley and Aziraphale fought. They were prepared to stand up against The Morningstar and I...
[He shakes his head.]
She doesn't talk to us anymore. She left a plan and then the plan was wrong - maybe a test? The more time I spend among you all the more I-I don't know if I can.
...I mean heaven, even if I did. I don't know if it'd take. Fighting alongside everyone in there made me feel less...less alone.
[ She'd steeled herself for that answer, and it shouldn't be a surprise that he went Atropos but it still makes the corner of her mouth flicker. Almost-a-frown. ]
For this world to be destroyed, then, in order for everyone to go home.
[ Anathema sighs. It's a good thing his vote didn't win, she supposes, but she thinks she can understand how someone could wind up with that choice. If she just squints, tilts her head a little to the side, tries to view the situation askance.
But she just couldn't, herself. Her entire life's purpose, from birth to almost-death, had been averting the apocalypse. All of it. ]
Less alone. Yes. Everybody came together, fought together. There were dozens of spellcasters with me, all casting together, and then others in the storm... It must have felt like the angelic legions, a bit?
[For the world to be destroyed so everyone can go home Something about it makes him annoyed. Human beings think so small yet have no notion of the consequences of their actions. They just exist, and expect people to take care of them.
And it infected Aziraphale and Crowley, this sense of ...hope and wonder and faith. It's own sort of different faith from his own in Her. Not blind faith in a single being but in an ideal and bless it-
His face twists into something like annoyance before he closes his eyes and breathes deep. The hug was nice. Anathema was a nice person. You...did nice things for nice people. His throat works and he presses his lips together.]
It took seven days to make your world. The most important one out of every world we built. We built a lot of worlds before yours, before humanity's - [frown. confusion.] before earth. It was really hard to watch the ice caps melt, the trash and pollution stack to the ceiling, the oceans fill with your plastic and I let it slide because I knew the world has an expiration date.
[His laugh is hollow] besides we were guilty of things too. The flood? I didn't like that. Nobody ever gives me credit for it but I feel bad for the unicorns. Even the dragons. All things she made that we had to kill to teach humanity a lesson and it-
All worlds end. They're supposed to. The creators of all the universes know that every story ends. But you're all out there saying no it shouldn't - and yes.
Yes it was like fighting beside my brothers.
[He has only ever felt that will before. That no, I will do as I will do will. It's his mother's will. This radical idea that things can and should continue. To go against the plan, to say no.
He has never had the luxury, only it turns out he did and does and...and...
What to say. Staring at her, he focuses wholly on her with those inhuman purple eyes.]
...I can't say I'm sorry. For my vote here or for what I did. I can say...I think I can say "I'm sorry for not understanding and thinking less of humanity before all of this."
[He snorts.] Honestly I wouldn't be fucking surprised if you all figured out how to prolong the planet's lifespan. Cleaned up the oceans and the trash and my trees and maybe somehow found a way to fix the hole in the ozone layer.
[Wholly leaving out that theoretically, if Heaven were so inclined. Maybe. Possibly with their infinite power. They could help.
But now he is looking at her profoundly worried because - oh god. What if he said the wrong thing. And now they are not friends.]
[ His was a small apology, but it was likely the best he could give, for now. Anathema's fingers are curled at the high neck of her dress; if she had a necklace there, she'd be clutching it, but instead she just settles for the line of her own collarbone. Thinking.
And despite himself, Gabriel managed to land on saying exactly the right thing, for her at least. ]
They really have made a massive mess of things. The oceans, the rainforest, the heaps of floating trash, the extinctions, the dead coral reefs, the ozone layer, the pipelines, the constant fires. You gave us this planet, and we fucked it all up. I'm— god, you don't know how much that sort of thing infuriated me. The Devices, we were always about the very, very, very long game, we thought of things in centuries, and yet so many other people don't seem to be able to have that perspective. They're too short-sighted.
But you're right. In that you need to give people the chance to try, at least. To clean up their own messes. If you just scrap the whole experiment and start from scratch, how does anyone learn anything? How does anyone get better?
[We've always thought of things in centuries is so accurate, so precise, that he looks impressed. He puts his hand on his hips and tilts his head to look at her. There is a flash - a flash of judgement. The archangels do not judge however, that's her but it drops and then he looks interested.
And then tired, but. Less tired then he did.]
...You are the most aware human being I have ever encountered. You and your family. I am...very glad to know you.
[If a being can still look like a man, but also look like an animal, that is Gabriel next however.]
...It's interesting. I'd never conceived that a human being could...respond like a celestial creature would. We think in terms of centuries, of millennia. Just because a planet ends doesn't mean the universe does. The stars in the sky we laid are vast.
[He seems on the verge of saying something else then but it leaves him feeling twisted because it means - in his mind - why would you want to stay. The notion of human beings spreading to Alpha Centauri for instance, or to any of the other planets...
The notion that might be okay dances across his mind but the planet they made with her blessing and her will...well. They'd miss it.
He looks like a man again.]
...Let's go find some place to clean up. I could tell you something about heaven while we rest. We have a window that shows all of the things that mankind has ever created.
Blame, or thank, Agnes for that. We might have been a regular kind of family otherwise, but she gave us that perspective, set our sights on the far future. Had us preparing for it.
But— yes. That sounds like a good plan. Do you get tired? I'm tired, after all, but I do live here in Jeopardy. Come on.
[ And Anathema crooks out an arm, and loops it through Gabriel's elbow like they're just a pair of old-fashioned lady and gent out for a stroll — though she does lean against him a bit, he's sturdy like rock, his body inhumanly solid — and they start walking, and he distracts her with stories of heaven. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
s A m E
Here he sleeps and breathes and he feels tied down but maybe this is not so bad because he wants more of those things.
It is a sin. It has to be because he is proud and he accepted that but this, this friendship he is becoming greedy for it but it doesn't matter he wants more and when he asks for understanding she says nothing. Only faint whispers.
A thought, a fleeting thought, the barest whisper of a thought runs across his mind that he can't articulate. If he could chase it, find it, read it, it would be I get it.
The what however remained a mystery for the moment]
...Why?
[He frowns. There are humans who are sad here and they have been and said so many things and...]
...What can I do?
no subject
[ a beat. ]
What did you vote?
no subject
His expression is sincere and serious.]
To go home.
[He swallows.] For everyone to go home. But then I was in there and people saw me and I saw them fighting and it was...
[He sounds stunned, staring around at them.]
...I saw how you and Adam and the rest of you fought, and how Crowley and Aziraphale fought. They were prepared to stand up against The Morningstar and I...
[He shakes his head.]
She doesn't talk to us anymore. She left a plan and then the plan was wrong - maybe a test? The more time I spend among you all the more I-I don't know if I can.
...I mean heaven, even if I did. I don't know if it'd take. Fighting alongside everyone in there made me feel less...less alone.
no subject
For this world to be destroyed, then, in order for everyone to go home.
[ Anathema sighs. It's a good thing his vote didn't win, she supposes, but she thinks she can understand how someone could wind up with that choice. If she just squints, tilts her head a little to the side, tries to view the situation askance.
But she just couldn't, herself. Her entire life's purpose, from birth to almost-death, had been averting the apocalypse. All of it. ]
Less alone. Yes. Everybody came together, fought together. There were dozens of spellcasters with me, all casting together, and then others in the storm... It must have felt like the angelic legions, a bit?
no subject
And it infected Aziraphale and Crowley, this sense of ...hope and wonder and faith. It's own sort of different faith from his own in Her. Not blind faith in a single being but in an ideal and bless it-
His face twists into something like annoyance before he closes his eyes and breathes deep. The hug was nice. Anathema was a nice person. You...did nice things for nice people. His throat works and he presses his lips together.]
It took seven days to make your world. The most important one out of every world we built. We built a lot of worlds before yours, before humanity's - [frown. confusion.] before earth. It was really hard to watch the ice caps melt, the trash and pollution stack to the ceiling, the oceans fill with your plastic and I let it slide because I knew the world has an expiration date.
[His laugh is hollow] besides we were guilty of things too. The flood? I didn't like that. Nobody ever gives me credit for it but I feel bad for the unicorns. Even the dragons. All things she made that we had to kill to teach humanity a lesson and it-
All worlds end. They're supposed to. The creators of all the universes know that every story ends. But you're all out there saying no it shouldn't - and yes.
Yes it was like fighting beside my brothers.
[He has only ever felt that will before. That no, I will do as I will do will. It's his mother's will. This radical idea that things can and should continue. To go against the plan, to say no.
He has never had the luxury, only it turns out he did and does and...and...
What to say. Staring at her, he focuses wholly on her with those inhuman purple eyes.]
...I can't say I'm sorry. For my vote here or for what I did. I can say...I think I can say "I'm sorry for not understanding and thinking less of humanity before all of this."
[He snorts.] Honestly I wouldn't be fucking surprised if you all figured out how to prolong the planet's lifespan. Cleaned up the oceans and the trash and my trees and maybe somehow found a way to fix the hole in the ozone layer.
[Wholly leaving out that theoretically, if Heaven were so inclined. Maybe. Possibly with their infinite power. They could help.
But now he is looking at her profoundly worried because - oh god. What if he said the wrong thing. And now they are not friends.]
no subject
[ His was a small apology, but it was likely the best he could give, for now. Anathema's fingers are curled at the high neck of her dress; if she had a necklace there, she'd be clutching it, but instead she just settles for the line of her own collarbone. Thinking.
And despite himself, Gabriel managed to land on saying exactly the right thing, for her at least. ]
They really have made a massive mess of things. The oceans, the rainforest, the heaps of floating trash, the extinctions, the dead coral reefs, the ozone layer, the pipelines, the constant fires. You gave us this planet, and we fucked it all up. I'm— god, you don't know how much that sort of thing infuriated me. The Devices, we were always about the very, very, very long game, we thought of things in centuries, and yet so many other people don't seem to be able to have that perspective. They're too short-sighted.
But you're right. In that you need to give people the chance to try, at least. To clean up their own messes. If you just scrap the whole experiment and start from scratch, how does anyone learn anything? How does anyone get better?
no subject
And then tired, but. Less tired then he did.]
...You are the most aware human being I have ever encountered. You and your family. I am...very glad to know you.
[If a being can still look like a man, but also look like an animal, that is Gabriel next however.]
...It's interesting. I'd never conceived that a human being could...respond like a celestial creature would. We think in terms of centuries, of millennia. Just because a planet ends doesn't mean the universe does. The stars in the sky we laid are vast.
[He seems on the verge of saying something else then but it leaves him feeling twisted because it means - in his mind - why would you want to stay. The notion of human beings spreading to Alpha Centauri for instance, or to any of the other planets...
The notion that might be okay dances across his mind but the planet they made with her blessing and her will...well. They'd miss it.
He looks like a man again.]
...Let's go find some place to clean up. I could tell you something about heaven while we rest. We have a window that shows all of the things that mankind has ever created.
doneski or yours to wrap?
But— yes. That sounds like a good plan. Do you get tired? I'm tired, after all, but I do live here in Jeopardy. Come on.
[ And Anathema crooks out an arm, and loops it through Gabriel's elbow like they're just a pair of old-fashioned lady and gent out for a stroll — though she does lean against him a bit, he's sturdy like rock, his body inhumanly solid — and they start walking, and he distracts her with stories of heaven. ]
doneski!